An epic laptop music battle where the winner gets a 7" record release on
No Room For Talent Records

Free to enter! Not a damn thing to lose!

Once again, the time has come for all electronic musicians in this forsaken wasteland to gather on the field of battle to prove their worth. Blood will spill and valor will be tested, but in the end, one champion will rise through the human wreckage and claim the spoils of war.

This competition is free to enter and anyone can join. All you need is courage...and a computer.

The Rules
This battle is being waged to see which electronic musician can bring the crowd to a fevered frenzy. You can only use a laptop or desktop computer. No gear, no turntables, no cd mixers, and no traditional instruments are permitted. You just need to be able to plug into the RCA input jacks on a standard mixer. You may prepare any amount of material ahead of time and use any software you want, although you are encouraged to improvise or create material on the fly. Using material from other artists is grounds for removal: this rule is potentially misleading since you can use samples. Like the Galactic Ass Dragon Classics before it, this is not a Traktor battle: make your own shit.

This battle is divided into 3 rounds: the opening round, the semi-final round, and the final round. No matter how many people enter, everyone who enters gets a 10 minute time slot in the opening round. There will be 2 tables setup: while the person before you is playing, you can start setting up on the free table. As soon as the person in front of you is done, you're on the clock. Tick tock.

At the end of the opening round, the judges will vote and the top 4 will move on to the semi-final round where they will have another 10 minutes to flay their competitors. At the completion of the semi-round, the top 2 move on to the final round and get a final 10 minute shot before one glorious winner is crowned. The winner receives the highly coveted Galactic Ass Dragon Classic trophy and their own 7" record release on No Room for Talent Records.

Although there is no rule prohibiting you from playing the same music each round, that is pretty damn boring, so you're encouraged to play different material each round.

There will be 3 judges: Greg Trash from the legendary No Room for Talent Records, Dave 8cylinder from Pittsburgh's Thac0 Records, and a mystery judge who will be unveiled at the time of the event. All judges' decisions are final.

Everyone who enters will be judged using the following criteria:

- DESTRUCTIVENESS: This is determined by how well you made people get up, holler, and/or pump their fists. Getting the crowd to just gently bob their heads or feel your "soulful groove" is not only lame, it isn't worth any points. Breakcore, hardcore, speedcore, and aggressive noise are what's called for. Playing well-produced techno, drum and bass, trance, house, or downtempo idm will result in zero points and possibly the bum's rush. While vocals are not prohibited, may Odin have mercy on your soul if you dare to assault us with pitiful singing.

- ORIGINALITY/CREATIVITY: This is a measure of how well your shitty music stood out from the other shitty music.

- PRESENTATION: Everyone has to look at you while you're playing, so do something. Get naked. Do a skit. Anything. The more you distract everyone from your awful music, the more points you get. If you look like you're checking your email during your lunch break at work, you're going to do terrible.

Split Horizon (Void,MI)
System of Adon (MI)
Jstat (MI)
Blaerg (Mirex,Entity,OH)
Statas (PA)
Shatterbreak (NRFT,Thac0,PA)
Cog of Magog
Doverspike (PA)
Jordan Decay (PA)
Le Shakes (PA)
Unixd0rk (PA)
Vasculator (Technoir,PA)
Mike N'Ike Jones (PA)
Dijitol Junkey (PA)
Cutups (Wrecked,PA)
Tunturi II (PA)
Cockmongler (Hive,Thac0,PA)

plus, the returning champ
In Broken Key (NRFT, OH)

This will be taking place at ON Gallery [5005 Penn Avenue] in Pittsburgh PA at 7PM. This event is ALL AGES, BYOB for 21+ $3 cover: everyone who enters the competition gets in for free, so if you want to skirt the cover charge, contact Dave 8cylinder to lay down the guantlet.

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