The 6th Galactic Ass Dragon Classic
This laptop battle is free to enter and anyone with a computer can join. It is taking place at Belvedere's (4016 Butler Street) in Pittsburgh, PA on Saturday June 13th, 2009 at 9PM. The event is 21 and over, $3 admission (everyone who enters the battle gets in for free, though). If you would like to sign-up for the competition or have any questions, contact dave 8cylinder.

This will again be hosted by Mike N'Ike Jones.

The Rules
The rules for this competition are the same as those in the previous events (and like before, these rules are likely to be broken by nearly everyone). This battle is being fought to see who can bring the crowd to a fevered frenzy. As a combatant, you can only use a laptop or desktop computer. No gear, no turntables, no cd mixers, and no traditional instruments are permitted. You just need to be able to plug into the RCA input jacks on a standard mixer. You may prepare any amount of material ahead of time and use any software you want, although you are encouraged to improvise or create material on the fly. Using material from other artists is grounds for removal (this rule is potentially misleading since you can use samples). Like the previous battles, this is not a Traktor, mashup, or DJ competition: make your own shit.

This battle is divided into 3 rounds: the opening round, the semi-final round, and the final round. No matter how many combatants sign-up, everyone who enters gets up to 10 minutes to play in the opening round. There will be 2 tables setup: while the person before you is playing, you can start setting up on the free table. As soon as the person in front of you is done, you're on the clock.

At the end of the opening round, the judges will vote and the top 4 combatants will move on to the semi-final round where they will have another 10 minutes to annihilate their competitors. At the completion of the semi-round, the top 2 move on to the final round and get a final 10 minute shot before one triumphant champion is declared. The winner receives the highly coveted Galactic Ass Dragon Classic trophy and their own 7" record release on No Room for Talent Records.

Although there is no rule prohibiting you from playing the same music each round, that is pretty damn boring, so you're encouraged to play different material each round.

There will be 3 judges: Ryan Xanopticon of Hymen Records fame, dave 8cylinder from Pittsburgh's Thac0 Records, and a mystery judge who will be unveiled at the time of the event. All judges' decisions are final.

Judging Criteria
Everyone who enters will be judged using the following criteria:

- DESTRUCTIVENESS: This is determined by how well you are able to transform the crowd into a churning sea of ravenous barbarians. Getting the crowd to gently bob their heads isn't worth any points. Breakcore, hardcore, speedcore, and aggressive noise are what's called for. While vocals are not explicitly prohibited, may Odin have mercy your soul if you assault the judges with ghastly singing.

- ORIGINALITY/CREATIVITY: This is a measure of how well your shitty music stood out from all the other shitty music.

- PRESENTATION: Everyone has to look at you while you're playing, so do something. The more you distract everyone from your awful music, the more points you get. If you look like you're checking your email during your lunch break at work, you're going to do terrible.

The Combatants

Greg Trash
Baron Knoxburry
System of Adon
Cloned Beef Lukemia
Ctrl Alt Deceit
Simon Slum
DJ DiJitol JunKey
Johnny Jiggers
J-Stat (returning champion)

If you would like to sign-up for the competition, contact dave 8cylinder.